Why I chose this book

This is the first time I had read a book after meeting the author. In fact, I didn’t even know my neighbor, Angela Shaeffer, was writing a book until a few months ago. Meeting her has its own story, but I’ll save that for another time. Let’s dive into the review.

The Things They Didn’t See explores how a family copes with an unimaginable tragedy. It’s a sad book—not because of its tone, but because it deals with heavy, emotional subjects that test the resilience of families and the human heart.

Themes that stood out

One of the most powerful symbols introduced early in the story is the ribbons—those bright markers neighbors tie around trees or posts to show support for grieving families.
The author poses an unspoken question:

“Who will take them down?”

When do these ribbons go from comforting to painful reminders? The book doesn’t answer directly, but the question lingers throughout the family’s journey. It made me reflect on my own experiences trying to support grieving friends:

“It was hard to know the difference between helping and interfering.”

Memorable Characters

I especially loved Roger, the father of the main character. He quietly supports his grieving teenage grandson by inviting him into his woodshop—a safe space for healing.
This struck a chord with me because, coincidentally, I saw a beautiful Mexican Mahogany bowl by James Prestini during a recent visit to the Art Institute of Chicago:

A quote from the artist on the placard posted next to this piece says:

“The important thing is not the product but the process…What do I have to learn to do?”

It left me wondering why Angela and I both wrote about teenage boys who used their hands to figure out their heart.

Favorite Quote

“Every tree has a different density. Different coloring, different striping. Even sections from the same [family] tree can turn out drastically different.”

I added “family” in brackets because that was my takeaway—every person grieves differently, even within the same household.

Final Thoughts

This novel reminded me of insights from On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: there’s no single “right way” to cope with loss. Angela Shaeffer captures this truth beautifully through her characters and prose.

This is a remarkable book that addresses many difficult but important topics. As I’ve been told by others, it takes courage to share a piece of yourself through a novel. I’m glad Angela shared too.

The Things They Didn’t See by Angela Shaeffer is available from all good booksellers.